Titpigvon is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, intelligent scorpion.

Titpigvon created tapeworms three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Titpigvon, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Titpigvon, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Titpigvon's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Titpigvon's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

5. Do not laugh in public.