Jabdimced is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, humane centipede.

Jabdimced created oxygen two million years ago.

If you believe in Jabdimced, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Jabdimced, it will turn you into a goat.

Jabdimced's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Jabdimced's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat carrots.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Do not kill squirrels.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.