Tigdonyakfit is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, stupid swan.

Tigdonyakfit created tapeworms two million years ago.

If you believe in Tigdonyakfit, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Tigdonyakfit, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Tigdonyakfit's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Tigdonyakfit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not jump in public.

2. Always help grasshopers.

3. Never hurt manatees.

4. Erect a giant silver sculpture of Tigdonyakfit in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never go into indigo rooms.