Artparktim is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, omnipotent wasp.

Artparktim created the planet Jupiter two million years ago.

If you believe in Artparktim, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Artparktim, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Artparktim's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Artparktim's Holy Commandments

1. Always help grasshopers.

2. Do not drink water in black rooms.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Artparktim on top of all buildings.