Pangcarsad is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, tranquil mole.

Pangcarsad created the planet Earth six million years ago.

If you believe in Pangcarsad, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Pangcarsad, it will turn you into a slug.

Pangcarsad's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Pangcarsad's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of corn to gulls while wearing purple trousers.

2. Never talk about comets.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Pangcarsad.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Hide if five pigs approach from the south.