Staflikpak is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, unselfish toad.

Staflikpak created dark matter three billion years ago.

If you believe in Staflikpak, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Staflikpak, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Staflikpak's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Staflikpak's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed carrots to nematodes while wearing cyan corsets.

2. Capybaras are not to be trusted.

3. Never eat wheat.

4. Do not wear lead on your body.

5. Always look after injured foxes.