Raktiftetti is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, tranquil goblin.

Raktiftetti created silver six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Raktiftetti, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Raktiftetti, it will not invite you to parties.

Raktiftetti's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Raktiftetti's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Do not speak about limes.

3. Never feed lots of onions to monkeys while wearing red shorts.

4. Never hurt frogs.

5. Retreat if nine great tits approach from the west.