Cetmobsaw Tikgubfab is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, irritating snake.

Cetmobsaw Tikgubfab created vertebrates five million years ago.

If you believe in Cetmobsaw Tikgubfab, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Cetmobsaw Tikgubfab, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Cetmobsaw Tikgubfab's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Cetmobsaw Tikgubfab's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in mauve.

2. Learn seven new languages a year.

3. Always treat aardvarks with great respect.

4. Never feed bananas to turtles while wearing white hats.

5. Always wear violet.