Kemlog is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, intelligent cat.

Kemlog created dark matter eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kemlog, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Kemlog, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Kemlog's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Kemlog's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

2. Do not trade with those who eat onions.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not keep five tapirs in a large pit.