Quillflattonk is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, unfair hippopotamus.

Quillflattonk created the Whirlpool Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quillflattonk, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Quillflattonk, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Quillflattonk's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Quillflattonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not shave your neck.

3. Do not chant in public.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate otters.

5. Never sing in holy places.