Tagsadfum is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, cheerful spider.

Tagsadfum created dark energy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Tagsadfum, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tagsadfum, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Tagsadfum's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Tagsadfum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not keep three grasshopers in a large pit.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not dye your hair red.