Dinmattim is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, overgenerous hamster.

Dinmattim created snails three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dinmattim, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dinmattim, he will turn you into a rat.

Dinmattim's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Dinmattim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about peas.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Do not wear silicon on your body.

4. Turtles are not to be trusted.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Dinmattim.