Betgovstik is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, dishonest manatee.

Betgovstik created an atom three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Betgovstik, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Betgovstik, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Betgovstik's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Betgovstik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never eat lemons.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Hide from brown tortoises for they are unholy.

5. You must pray to Betgovstik nine times a day.