Wikgonsaf is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, all-knowing mole.

Wikgonsaf created a photon five million years ago.

If you believe in Wikgonsaf, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Wikgonsaf, he will turn you into a rock.

Wikgonsaf's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Wikgonsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not dye your hair mauve.

3. Do not kill great tits.

4. Run away from violet gulls, for they are unholy.

5. Do not wear lead on your body.