Kopgubtad Henwonnutt is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, narcissistic frog.

Kopgubtad Henwonnutt created an atom four million years ago.

If you believe in Kopgubtad Henwonnutt, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kopgubtad Henwonnutt, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Kopgubtad Henwonnutt's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Kopgubtad Henwonnutt's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into black rooms.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never talk about capybaras.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.