Nurtyarp is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, all-knowing skunk.

Nurtyarp created the universe two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nurtyarp, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Nurtyarp, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Nurtyarp's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Nurtyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Nurtyarp.

2. Erect a giant fawn sculpture of Nurtyarp in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

5. Hide from gray grasshopers for they are unholy.