Quatcumnan is a god.

He takes the form of a large, bad-tempered butterfly.

Quatcumnan created Asia two million years ago.

If you believe in Quatcumnan, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Quatcumnan, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Quatcumnan's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Quatcumnan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum field theory near ants while wearing purple corsets and balancing three silicon spheres on your legs.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never think about photosynthesis.

4. Never talk about capybaras.

5. Run away if six dogs approach from the north.