Wotstanpon is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, competent penguin.

Wotstanpon created a down quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wotstanpon, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Wotstanpon, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Wotstanpon's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Wotstanpon's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat gooseberries.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never bounce in holy places.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never talk about ultrasonics near badgers while wearing turquoise shorts and balancing seven platinum spheres on your back.