Hadgetbess is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, strong wren.

Hadgetbess created the Sun twelve years ago.

If you believe in Hadgetbess, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Hadgetbess, it will boil you in a big pot.

Hadgetbess' most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Hadgetbess' Holy Commandments

1. Hide from fawn bats for they are unholy.

2. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force near snakes while wearing gray coats and balancing six aluminium spheres on your feet.

4. Never think about bacteria.

5. Never mention mites.