Panwabpadtan Babspagkim is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, fussy dolphin.

Panwabpadtan Babspagkim created the world seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Panwabpadtan Babspagkim, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Panwabpadtan Babspagkim, it will not care.

Panwabpadtan Babspagkim's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Panwabpadtan Babspagkim's Holy Commandments

1. Always help eagles in need.

2. Do not keep three dogs in a large pit.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Run away from orange goats, for they are unholy.