Bass is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, confident rat.

Bass created the Whirlpool Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bass, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bass, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Bass' most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Bass' Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never talk about fluid mechanics.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never think ill of sick sheep.

5. Hide if five gulls approach from the south.