Bestfigsat is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, fast aardvark.

Bestfigsat created Europe eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bestfigsat, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Bestfigsat, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Bestfigsat's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Bestfigsat's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry frogs.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bestfigsat.

3. Always look after injured mice.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.