Stanlogpon is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, thoughtless shark.

Stanlogpon created vertebrates five billion years ago.

If you believe in Stanlogpon, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Stanlogpon, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Stanlogpon's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Stanlogpon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dogs.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never think about thermodynamics near aardvarks while wearing green corsets and balancing seven carbon spheres on your feet.