Gabhomqueeg is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, loving dugong.

Gabhomqueeg created a bottom quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gabhomqueeg, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Gabhomqueeg, he will try to impress you with trees.

Gabhomqueeg's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Gabhomqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never leap in holy places.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never feed rice to voles while wearing orange rings.

4. Never talk about special relativity near monkeys while wearing black scarves.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.