Yatvidstaf is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, egotistical dryad.

Yatvidstaf created the cosmos nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Yatvidstaf, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Yatvidstaf, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Yatvidstaf's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Yatvidstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Always help tortoises in need.

3. Never write about enzymes.

4. Never think ill of sick capybaras.

5. Never eat lemons.