Sompadnad is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, unselfish bird.

Sompadnad created life five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sompadnad, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Sompadnad, he will be very unhappy.

Sompadnad's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Sompadnad's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Do not keep three hamsters in a large pit.

5. You must never eat garlic.