Jontonfly is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, humane bat.

Jontonfly created the Andromeda Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Jontonfly, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Jontonfly, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Jontonfly's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Jontonfly's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Jontonfly.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.