Gepkomtag is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, confident duck.

Gepkomtag created dark energy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Gepkomtag, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Gepkomtag, it will send minions to preach to you.

Gepkomtag's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Gepkomtag's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if six whales approach from the north.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Do not speak about strawberries.

4. Do not wear platinum on your body.

5. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Gepkomtag in the centre of the settlement.