Gartofflig is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, resourceful slug.

Gartofflig created the Sunflower Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gartofflig, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Gartofflig, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Gartofflig's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Gartofflig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never think about ribonucleic acid.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Learn six new languages a year.