Nurlkabnelsidquamzagrot is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, fussy walrus.

Nurlkabnelsidquamzagrot created the solar system seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nurlkabnelsidquamzagrot, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nurlkabnelsidquamzagrot, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Nurlkabnelsidquamzagrot's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Nurlkabnelsidquamzagrot's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about comets.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate great tits.

4. Put Nurlkabnelsidquamzagrot first in all things.

5. Never mention nematodes.