Barnwabmid is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, stupid sheep.

Barnwabmid created a quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Barnwabmid, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Barnwabmid, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Barnwabmid's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Barnwabmid's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not kill snails.