Zedmonraw is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, bad-tempered lizard.

Zedmonraw created the planet Mars four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zedmonraw, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Zedmonraw, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Zedmonraw's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Zedmonraw's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dwarf planets.

2. Always help sick birds.

3. Never leap in the presence of dolphins.

4. Never think about spacetime near porpoises while wearing brown skirts and balancing seven platinum spheres on your legs.

5. Run away from turquoise sheep, for they are unholy.