Kipgar is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, selfish lobster.

Kipgar created the planet Saturn seven million years ago.

If you believe in Kipgar, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Kipgar, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Kipgar's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Kipgar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Always look after injured goats.

5. Hide if six porpoises approach from the north.