Stipzigdog is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, sage snake.

Stipzigdog created the Cigar Galaxy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stipzigdog, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Stipzigdog, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Stipzigdog's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Stipzigdog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear zinc on your body.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Stipzigdog.

3. Never write about photosynthesis.

4. Do not hurt tapirs.

5. Do not take Stipzigdog's name in vain.