Bafnuttjap is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, conceited tapir.

Bafnuttjap created the Sunflower Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bafnuttjap, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bafnuttjap, she will turn you into a duck.

Bafnuttjap's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Bafnuttjap's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat apples.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bafnuttjap.

4. Foxes are not to be trusted.

5. Never go into yellow rooms.