Gomtunkon Rutjipbus is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, amazing hydra.

Gomtunkon Rutjipbus created the Sombrero Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gomtunkon Rutjipbus, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Gomtunkon Rutjipbus, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Gomtunkon Rutjipbus' most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Gomtunkon Rutjipbus' Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Always help turtles in need.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not take Gomtunkon Rutjipbus' name in vain.