Nuttyarlcuss is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, unthoughtful guinea pig.

Nuttyarlcuss created bats three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nuttyarlcuss, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Nuttyarlcuss, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Nuttyarlcuss' most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Nuttyarlcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Never wear stockings.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Run away from fawn bats, for they are unholy.

4. Do not shave your back.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.