Tonkdonbed is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, dishonest bat.

Tonkdonbed created humankind eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tonkdonbed, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tonkdonbed, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Tonkdonbed's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Tonkdonbed's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Worship no other gods but Tonkdonbed.

4. Never talk about quantum mechanics near otters while wearing gray ear rings and balancing eight silver spheres on your hands.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.