Taflarncutnadgovonzak is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, tiresome swallow.

Taflarncutnadgovonzak created everything that exists seven million years ago.

If you believe in Taflarncutnadgovonzak, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Taflarncutnadgovonzak, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Taflarncutnadgovonzak's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Taflarncutnadgovonzak's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not take Taflarncutnadgovonzak's name in vain.

3. Learn five new languages a year.

4. Do not wear blue clothing.

5. Always obey Taflarncutnadgovonzak's priests.