Saszagdav is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, fussy tortoise.

Saszagdav created the planet Mars seven million years ago.

If you believe in Saszagdav, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Saszagdav, it will throw large rocks at you.

Saszagdav's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Saszagdav's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine tortoises approach from the north.

2. Never think about galaxies.

3. Never feed lots of limes to tapirs while wearing indigo rings.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Saszagdav.