Ontbaftarg is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, slow camel.

Ontbaftarg created water three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ontbaftarg, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Ontbaftarg, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Ontbaftarg's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Ontbaftarg's Holy Commandments

1. Ontbaftarg loves ducks, so they must be honoured.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near moths while wearing violet trousers.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never play with disobedient children.