Artvidnarkip is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, merciful wren.

Artvidnarkip created a quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Artvidnarkip, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Artvidnarkip, she will think nothing of it.

Artvidnarkip's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Artvidnarkip's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if six ducks approach from the west.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling space.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.