Kabstafrow is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, tranquil narwhal.

Kabstafrow created the Large Magellanic Cloud three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kabstafrow, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Kabstafrow, it will turn you into a mouse.

Kabstafrow's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Kabstafrow's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Kabstafrow's name in vain.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Learn six new languages a year.

4. Never hurt squirrels.

5. Always make sure there are no great tits in a room before entering it.