Yarpbabcim Nelzencidflanril Bandubxuck is a god.

He takes the form of a large, pitiless aardvark.

Yarpbabcim Nelzencidflanril Bandubxuck created the planet Earth four million years ago.

If you believe in Yarpbabcim Nelzencidflanril Bandubxuck, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Yarpbabcim Nelzencidflanril Bandubxuck, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Yarpbabcim Nelzencidflanril Bandubxuck's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Yarpbabcim Nelzencidflanril Bandubxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Yarpbabcim Nelzencidflanril Bandubxuck in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Retreat if nine whales approach from the north.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.