Vidlitleg is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, fast octopus.

Vidlitleg created time and space eight million years ago.

If you believe in Vidlitleg, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Vidlitleg, she will turn you into a rock.

Vidlitleg's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Vidlitleg's Holy Commandments

1. Vidlitleg must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Erect a giant gray sculpture of Vidlitleg in the centre of the settlement.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Always help pigs.

5. Never talk about enzymes.