Gonlistrensug is a god.

He takes the form of a small, cheerful salamander.

Gonlistrensug created carbon six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gonlistrensug, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gonlistrensug, he will try to impress you with trees.

Gonlistrensug's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Gonlistrensug's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your arms purple.

2. Worship no other gods but Gonlistrensug.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Gonlistrensug.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not dye your hair violet.