Kopcutflis is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, unfair penguin.

Kopcutflis created Mount Everest three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kopcutflis, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Kopcutflis, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Kopcutflis' most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Kopcutflis' Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never paint your legs red.

4. Never write about quantum field theory.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Kopcutflis.