Zimfasfas is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, selfish lobster.

Zimfasfas created a photon six billion years ago.

If you believe in Zimfasfas, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Zimfasfas, it will turn you into a rat.

Zimfasfas' most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Zimfasfas' Holy Commandments

1. You must love Zimfasfas.

2. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

3. Erect a giant fawn sculpture of Zimfasfas in the centre of the settlement.

4. Always wear indigo.

5. Do not chop down trees.