Fenpigvadmad is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, awesome hedgehog.

Fenpigvadmad created a charm quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Fenpigvadmad, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Fenpigvadmad, he will laugh at you.

Fenpigvadmad's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Fenpigvadmad's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never chant in holy places.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Run away if seven foxes approach from the west.