Flanarpgep is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, all-knowing penguin.

Flanarpgep created a charm quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flanarpgep, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Flanarpgep, she will turn you into a plant.

Flanarpgep's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Flanarpgep's Holy Commandments

1. Erect eight carbon sculptures of Flanarpgep on top of important buildings.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate whales.

3. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling space.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not cook food in pots.